You're completely useless in the revolution.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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