well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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