I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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