I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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