I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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