you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize