remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
