His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I wish there were birth control emojis
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
