Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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