His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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