2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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