Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
