We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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