No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
