I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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