My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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