That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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