a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
