Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
