we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Houston, we have a blender
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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