Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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