Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
