I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
