i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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