There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
