So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
