His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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