O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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