it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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