my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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