My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
