So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
