I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
