Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?

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(859): What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms? http://tfl.nu/1h9x

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(509): View more from Washington

I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?

(1-509): View more from Washington

talent.

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(509): I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy? (1-509): talent. http://tfl.nu/18h3

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(502): View more from Kentucky

sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets

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(502): sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets http://tfl.nu/cbq3

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(313): View more from Michigan

The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

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(313): The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her. http://tfl.nu/8p27

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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(860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj

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(970): View more from Colorado

There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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(970): There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/bv2v

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky

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(617): Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky http://tfl.nu/3bkx

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(785): View more from Kansas

Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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(785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d

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(917): View more from New York City

She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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(917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg

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(404): View more from Georgia

Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Twice...

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(404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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(608): At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded http://tfl.nu/pkjm

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(619): View more from California

I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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(619): I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix http://tfl.nu/k82p

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(817): View more from Texas

You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

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(817): You should come by for the fire station blow job tour http://tfl.nu/ymfu

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(646): View more from New York

Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.

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(646): Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter. http://tfl.nu/74l7

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(563): View more from Iowa

Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

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(563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7

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