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What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Randomize
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