I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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