Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
