I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
