In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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