i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
