why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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