god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
