Sponge bath it is.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
