i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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