watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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