I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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