I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
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once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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