I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
