I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
