On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
