I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
