Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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