No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
