I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
