12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
