We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
