I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
