Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
