i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
